After an entire summer hiatus, I think this blog is dead. Rather, it was just time to start fresh somewhere else. My new blog link is http://momsstheword.tumblr.com
I hope some of you will come on over and continue to follow me!!!! :-)
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
YARD SALE!! SATURDAY, MAY 21!!!
Okay, folks. I'm finally having a yard sale! Perhaps this isn't as exciting to you as it is to me, since the main reason I'm having this yard sale is...WE'RE FINALLY MOVING! Yep, after months and months of searching for a larger house, we finally found one. Not only is it bigger than the house we live in now, but it is also closer to my husband's job, and to Jude's daycare. There are lots of awesomely radical things about it, and I'm sure I'll be babbling about it for the next few weeks. We're moving in June, which gives me zero time to prepare. I'm attempting to offset the fact that I have zero time by getting rid of the things we no longer need--mainly baby stuff. In addition, the new nursery has partially red walls. We've decided to keep the walls red, which means that all of the green and yellow nursery decor that we have now has to go. There will also be other things at the sale, such as:
-baby boy & gender neutral clothes & shoes (0-6 months and shoe sizes 0-2) I have TONS of baby clothes...bags and bags full, many of them have never even been worn.
-maternity clothes (sizes L and XL)
-women's clothes & shoes (sizes 10-14 and L-XL, and shoe sizes 6-7)
-women's handbags
-men's clothes and shoes (pant size 42, shirt size XXL, shoe size 13)
-curtains (sheer sage green, as well as yellow & white nursery curtains--both floor legnth)
-various movies and tv seasons, all on DVD
-kitchenware
I also have some larger baby items that I'm planning to sell. However, I'd really like to avoid hauling them all to the yard sale site, so I'm going to post them on here with pictures and prices. If you live in my area, and are interested, get into contact with me, and we'll set something up so you can come and see/purchase.
I have pretty much the entire Wendy Bellissimo Honey Bee nursery line. I have the honey bee canvas art, they honey bee mobile, the honeybee shelf, clock, and all of the honey bee bedding. I also have various matching items. I'm selling the crib bedding as a set, but everything else can be broken up. You can check out the Honey Bee line HERE, for a reference on what it costs new, so that you don't think I'm crazy for asking what I am. Below, I'm posting the larger items I have to sell, starting with the Honey Bee stuff. Pricing and description below each picture. You can always make me an offer. If you want to know location of the sale next Saturday, let me know. :-)
-baby boy & gender neutral clothes & shoes (0-6 months and shoe sizes 0-2) I have TONS of baby clothes...bags and bags full, many of them have never even been worn.
-maternity clothes (sizes L and XL)
-women's clothes & shoes (sizes 10-14 and L-XL, and shoe sizes 6-7)
-women's handbags
-men's clothes and shoes (pant size 42, shirt size XXL, shoe size 13)
-curtains (sheer sage green, as well as yellow & white nursery curtains--both floor legnth)
-various movies and tv seasons, all on DVD
-kitchenware
I also have some larger baby items that I'm planning to sell. However, I'd really like to avoid hauling them all to the yard sale site, so I'm going to post them on here with pictures and prices. If you live in my area, and are interested, get into contact with me, and we'll set something up so you can come and see/purchase.
I have pretty much the entire Wendy Bellissimo Honey Bee nursery line. I have the honey bee canvas art, they honey bee mobile, the honeybee shelf, clock, and all of the honey bee bedding. I also have various matching items. I'm selling the crib bedding as a set, but everything else can be broken up. You can check out the Honey Bee line HERE, for a reference on what it costs new, so that you don't think I'm crazy for asking what I am. Below, I'm posting the larger items I have to sell, starting with the Honey Bee stuff. Pricing and description below each picture. You can always make me an offer. If you want to know location of the sale next Saturday, let me know. :-)
 |
| Wendy Bellissimo Honey Bee canvas painting. This picture is in great condition, and looks new. $15 |
 |
| Wendy Bellissimo Honey Bee wall shelf. green and yellow gingham. Excellent condition, looks new. $25 |
 |
| Wendy Bellissimo Honey Bee window valance, looks brand new. $10 |
 |
| Wendy Bellissimo Honey Bee mobile. Has never been used, and is still in the box. $15. Picture below is also of mobile. |
 |
| The next four pictures are of the Wendy Bellissimo bedding set. The set includes--four bumper pads, pillow, blanket, fitted sheet, and 2 crib skirts. That's the entire set. In great shape, and looks new. The pictures of the crib bedding didn't turn out very well, so this is something you will for sure want to come out and see. $75 |
 |
| Set of 3 cloth, lamb wall hangings. $5 for set |
 |
| Vibrating seat with music and mobile. Brand new. I think Jude sat in this seat a total of 3 times before he got too big. $15 |
 |
| Winnie-the-Pooh walker seat. I got this second hand, and although it is in good shape, it doesn't look new. $10 |
 |
| This is one of those seats that you can use in the summertime to keep bugs off of baby. It's like a mesh tent, and it has a mobile inside. Picture below is of same seat. $10. |
 |
| Pali crib--converts to toddler bed. THIS IS A DROP-SIDE CRIB. Retailers are not allowed to sell this type of crib anymore. Has all parts, but needs screws. It's beautiful, and Italian made. It's probably a $700 crib, but I didn't feel safe using it since it is a drop-side crib. I'm sure something can be done to fix that, but I'm not that crafty. $30. |
Monday, April 25, 2011
Mmmmm, you can find me, in St. Louis rollin on dubs
Smokin on dubs in clubs, blowin up like cocoa puffs...
It. Won't. Stop. Raining.
On Saturday morning, our main bathroom flooded. We had a lake in the bathroom and hallway. Now, half of our house smells like a urinal at Cochella. My dad came down and put a new wax seal on the toilet, but that'll hold for only a couple of days if it doesn't stop raining. We live out in the country, in a rental house, and whoever put in the septic didn't do such a fantastic job. The plumbing has never been perfect, but like I said--we live out in the country. We have our own septic and our own well, so there are bound to be issues that people with city plumbing/water wouldn't have. I'm used to this, as I grew up in the country. My husband, however, has never dealt with such issues before, and therefore is not dealing with them very well. So, on top of a partially flooded, gross smelling house, I also have two infants in my house to take care of.
We had Easter dinner at my grandmother's house on Saturday night. About 8 o'clock we were all searching our Easter baskets for the elusive "money egg" when my brother noticed there was water seeping in from the garage. And then from the kitchen. And finally, from both of the bathrooms. We all rushed to throw down towels, in hopes that the water wouldn't make it to her carpeting, but that was all in vain. Within seconds, it was like we were sailing on the Titanic. We managed to save most of her furniture, but every single room in my grandmother's house is flooded. Walking on her brand new linoleum floor in the kitchen was just like walking on paper. I'll be surprised if they don't have to replace the sub-floors and half the sheetrock in herhouse, and my grandmother does NOT live in the country. In fact, she lives in one of the nicest parts of the city--right by the private country club. She lives next door to one of the deans at the local college, and his house flooded, too. We were all outside, soaking wet, watching the street in front of their houses become a river. The water, at one point, was all the way up to my thigh (of course, I'm just 5'3").
I told the guy driving the fire & rescue truck that I thought it was the rapture.
He didn't think I was very funny.
Needless to say, nobody made it to church on Easter Sunday, and my grandmother now lives at the Super 8.
As stressful as this weekend has been (and it ranks right up there with the weekend I went into labor) it will also be a weekend we'll remember and talk (and eventualy laugh ) about for the rest of our lives. Jude's first Easter was rife with excitement. If my house hadn't flooded, and we hadn't spent half the day cleaning up that mess, we would have been done with Easter dinner at my grandmother's hours earlier, and she would have been all alone when the flooding at her house began. She's 80, and uses a walker since her back surgery a year ago, so there is no way she could have moved her furniture to safety, or done anything to prevent her house from becoming a swimming pool.
God takes care of us--even if it ends up making your house smell like dirty underwear.
One of my best friends is getting married on Saturday. I'm really excited about her wedding, even if it means wearing a bridesmaid's dress that cuts off my air supply. I realized last week that I hadn't even tried on my dress since before I got pregnant. It was then that I also realized that I still needed to lose about 30 lbs of baby weight before I could actually wear the aforementioned dress. I tried it on one morning before work and couldn't get it to zip, in fact ripping it just a little at the base. I called just about every David's Bridal in the tri-state area, and the last store I called informed me that the dress had been discontinued, and that no store in the continental United States had that dress in the color and size I needed. In a panic, I called my friend and confessed to her that not only was I too fat for my dress, but that I had less than two weeks to fix the problem. She was very cool about it, which I appreciated, and together we found a dress that she thought might be the solution. I ordered the dress at work, and paid extra for expedited shipping.
Then I went home. After I got home, I stared at my original bridesmaid's dress for at least half an hour, silently cursing it for ruining my self-esteem. I decided to try it on one more time for good measure. This time, I zipped up the dress before pulling it on over my head. It was a tight fit, and I had to squash down my boobs quite a bit, but IT FIT!! I couldn't breathe, but IT FIT! I couldn't sit down, but IT FIT!
Of course, all of this happened after I'd spent $250 on a new dress that had already been shipped. So now, I'll have to return the 2nd dress. I tried it on when it came in the mail--it's about 2 sizes too big for me, which was just what my fragile ego needed. My wallet, however, is super pissed.
Despite all the dress drama, I know that this wedding is going to be fun...and that means a lot coming from me, because I HATE weddings. However, I'm going to get to see tons of friends I haven't seen for a while (some of them I haven't seen since I got married in 2009). I have the cutest wedding suit for Jude, and I'm going to get to watch two of my closest friends commit their lives to each other. The first time I met my friend's fiance, he had long, curly hair, had both of his ears stretched, and was wearing a rain slicker with his frat letters embossed on the front. He looked kind of like a douche bag. I'm pretty sure that's the exact term I used to describe him to my friend. I didn't know at the time that he was not, in fact, a douche bag, and that he would become one of my best friends, and the husband to one of my other best friends!
I think maybe that last paragraph is why nobody asked me to give a wedding toast.
Oh well. At least I can drink, which means at some point, my dress will unzip all by itself.
And I will finally be able to breathe.
It. Won't. Stop. Raining.
On Saturday morning, our main bathroom flooded. We had a lake in the bathroom and hallway. Now, half of our house smells like a urinal at Cochella. My dad came down and put a new wax seal on the toilet, but that'll hold for only a couple of days if it doesn't stop raining. We live out in the country, in a rental house, and whoever put in the septic didn't do such a fantastic job. The plumbing has never been perfect, but like I said--we live out in the country. We have our own septic and our own well, so there are bound to be issues that people with city plumbing/water wouldn't have. I'm used to this, as I grew up in the country. My husband, however, has never dealt with such issues before, and therefore is not dealing with them very well. So, on top of a partially flooded, gross smelling house, I also have two infants in my house to take care of.
We had Easter dinner at my grandmother's house on Saturday night. About 8 o'clock we were all searching our Easter baskets for the elusive "money egg" when my brother noticed there was water seeping in from the garage. And then from the kitchen. And finally, from both of the bathrooms. We all rushed to throw down towels, in hopes that the water wouldn't make it to her carpeting, but that was all in vain. Within seconds, it was like we were sailing on the Titanic. We managed to save most of her furniture, but every single room in my grandmother's house is flooded. Walking on her brand new linoleum floor in the kitchen was just like walking on paper. I'll be surprised if they don't have to replace the sub-floors and half the sheetrock in herhouse, and my grandmother does NOT live in the country. In fact, she lives in one of the nicest parts of the city--right by the private country club. She lives next door to one of the deans at the local college, and his house flooded, too. We were all outside, soaking wet, watching the street in front of their houses become a river. The water, at one point, was all the way up to my thigh (of course, I'm just 5'3").
I told the guy driving the fire & rescue truck that I thought it was the rapture.
He didn't think I was very funny.
Needless to say, nobody made it to church on Easter Sunday, and my grandmother now lives at the Super 8.
As stressful as this weekend has been (and it ranks right up there with the weekend I went into labor) it will also be a weekend we'll remember and talk (and eventualy laugh ) about for the rest of our lives. Jude's first Easter was rife with excitement. If my house hadn't flooded, and we hadn't spent half the day cleaning up that mess, we would have been done with Easter dinner at my grandmother's hours earlier, and she would have been all alone when the flooding at her house began. She's 80, and uses a walker since her back surgery a year ago, so there is no way she could have moved her furniture to safety, or done anything to prevent her house from becoming a swimming pool.
God takes care of us--even if it ends up making your house smell like dirty underwear.
One of my best friends is getting married on Saturday. I'm really excited about her wedding, even if it means wearing a bridesmaid's dress that cuts off my air supply. I realized last week that I hadn't even tried on my dress since before I got pregnant. It was then that I also realized that I still needed to lose about 30 lbs of baby weight before I could actually wear the aforementioned dress. I tried it on one morning before work and couldn't get it to zip, in fact ripping it just a little at the base. I called just about every David's Bridal in the tri-state area, and the last store I called informed me that the dress had been discontinued, and that no store in the continental United States had that dress in the color and size I needed. In a panic, I called my friend and confessed to her that not only was I too fat for my dress, but that I had less than two weeks to fix the problem. She was very cool about it, which I appreciated, and together we found a dress that she thought might be the solution. I ordered the dress at work, and paid extra for expedited shipping.
Then I went home. After I got home, I stared at my original bridesmaid's dress for at least half an hour, silently cursing it for ruining my self-esteem. I decided to try it on one more time for good measure. This time, I zipped up the dress before pulling it on over my head. It was a tight fit, and I had to squash down my boobs quite a bit, but IT FIT!! I couldn't breathe, but IT FIT! I couldn't sit down, but IT FIT!
Of course, all of this happened after I'd spent $250 on a new dress that had already been shipped. So now, I'll have to return the 2nd dress. I tried it on when it came in the mail--it's about 2 sizes too big for me, which was just what my fragile ego needed. My wallet, however, is super pissed.
Despite all the dress drama, I know that this wedding is going to be fun...and that means a lot coming from me, because I HATE weddings. However, I'm going to get to see tons of friends I haven't seen for a while (some of them I haven't seen since I got married in 2009). I have the cutest wedding suit for Jude, and I'm going to get to watch two of my closest friends commit their lives to each other. The first time I met my friend's fiance, he had long, curly hair, had both of his ears stretched, and was wearing a rain slicker with his frat letters embossed on the front. He looked kind of like a douche bag. I'm pretty sure that's the exact term I used to describe him to my friend. I didn't know at the time that he was not, in fact, a douche bag, and that he would become one of my best friends, and the husband to one of my other best friends!
I think maybe that last paragraph is why nobody asked me to give a wedding toast.
Oh well. At least I can drink, which means at some point, my dress will unzip all by itself.
And I will finally be able to breathe.
Friday, April 22, 2011
I have a zombie escape plan.
100 things about me: Just in case you're drunk and bored on a Friday night.
1. I actually stole this idea from a blogger I follow on Twitter (@CecilyK). Her list is already better than mine, and I'm just on #1.
2. I troll the internet for interesting blogs, follow them, and then forget to read them.
3. By the end of next week, I'll have just over 75 composition I & II essays to grade.
4. I waste my office hours doing things like this list, and then whine about how I don't have enough time to grade.
5. I am a very messy person, but it bothers me when people (like my husband) say I'm filthy or disgusting. My car is messy, my house is messy, but I am clean. So are my dogs, my kid, and just about everything that really needs to be. I see no point in keeping my life immaculate.
6. I feel guilty any time I spend more than $20 on myself now that I'm a mom.
7. I have 4 dogs, and if I had my way, I'd probably have about 10 more.
8. If I cannot sleep next to my dogs, well, I don't sleep at all.
9. I hate to cuddle. Even with my husband. I have always been this way. Do not try to change me.
10. I bit my nails until I was in my 20's.
11. I drink almost nothing but diet soda. I dislike water to the 10th degree.
12. When I was pregnant, drinking water was the only thing that made me want to throw up. So I didn't drink water, and guess what? My kid came out healthy and happy as a clam. Suck it, Pregnancy Rule Book.
13. I used to worry that after I had my son that people would define me by him. Now, I worry that they won't.
14. I do not believe in sleep training or letting my baby cry until he falls asleep. If my kid cries--I pick him up. Even if it's at 3 a.m.
15. I believe in the Family Bed (I think the trendy term is "co-sleeping").
16. I believe every child is different, and it's stupid to always "do what the book says".
17. I use tons of post-it notes, but I hardly ever read what I've written on them.
18. When I was 25 I was in a terrible car accident. The head trauma caused my short-term memory to be all screwy--and I use this as an excuse as much as possible for the reason as to why I forget whatever I have not written down on the back of my hand.
19. Since people very rarely comment on my blog, I worry no one reads it.
20. I can count 9 empty cans of soda in my office. I bet the janitor LOVES me.
21. I have been out of printer paper for over a month. I have been stealing it from my office mate. She can't understand where all her paper keeps going, and I don't have the heart to tell her I'm a thief.
22. I think it's funny when people tell me they like my clothes, and when I say I bought them at Wal-Mart, they say, "Really? I've never seen that there."
23. I gained 60 lbs while I was pregnant.
24. I feel like a failure because after 4 months, I've lost only 30 lbs.
25. I have a week and a half to lose the aforementioned 30 lbs in order to fit into a bridesmaid's dress for my bff's wedding.
26. It ain't gonna happen.
27. Had to order a totally different dress
28. Sometimes I think that social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter are just a way for stupid people to spell words incorrectly.
29. I often wonder why I have been blessed with such an amazing network of family and friends when I. DO. Not. Deserve. Them. Seriously, I wonder about this all the time, and am constantly afraid that something terrible is going to happen, because if it does--it'll be just what I deserve.
30. In addition, I don't understand why God allowed me to get pregnant so easily, or why he gave me a perfect and healthy baby when there are women out there who try and try and can never have children. It isn't fair, I know it, and I say a silent "thank-you" about 50 times a day.
31. I'm a liberal.
32. That doesn't make me a communist.
33. Or a Marxist.
34. Or even a socialist.
35. I believe in marriage equality for all.
36. I believe healthcare is a right.
37. I'm pro-choice, which is not the same as pro-abortion.
38. I listen to conservative talk radio every day just to hear what what is being said.
39. I could and would argue with a fence post.
40. I think driving a gas guzzling car is pretty damn dumb, but I am not in favor of the government mandating what kind of car I am allowed to drive.
41. I drive a Scion.
42. But I wish I had a 1999 Volvo station wagon. That's the last year they made that "boxy" style that I like.
43. I like my dogs better than most people.
44. The main thing my husband and I argue about is the dogs.
45. He is pretty sure he married the Crazy Dog Lady.
46. My husband and I met on Match.com.
47. If he had wanted to avoid marrying the Crazy Dog Lady, he should have been more thorough in reading my profile.
48. If I had the money, I'd spend all my time volunteering with animal rescues.
49. Or I'd start my own.
50. I've written a children's book entitled, A Dog Named Helen Keller. It's about my blind and deaf French Bulldog. It's a true story of how she was rescued.
51. Nobody wants to publish my book.
52. I've been blogging since 2002, and have always fantasized about someone "important" stumbling across my blog and contracting me to write a memior of my fascinating life.
53. That has yet to happen.
54. But I will never give up hope.
55. I have a B.A. in English.
56. And an M.A. in Creative Writing.
57. Thank God for community college jobs.
58. Otherwise I'd be working at Wal-Mart.
59. I eat at Subway almost every day during the week.
60. And then I bitch at my husband for spending money on fast food.
61. I buy covers for my iPhone like they're going out of style.
62. There is a cake pan sitting in my office that has been here since last August.
63. It amazes me that some students think it is okay to write essays with the same grammar they would use to text a buddy--"wat is ur moms #? i think shes hot. l8er."
64. I think the belief that childhood immunizations cause autism is a crock of shit.
65. I overdrew my bank account every month until online banking came along.
66. Now, I check my balance psychotically.
67. I make snowman 8's.
68. I don't feel as strongly about any political issue as I do animal welfare, particularly when it comes to puppy mills in the state of Missouri.
69. Three of my four bulldogs are rescues, and two of them are puppy mill survivors. In addition, all four of my parents' bulldogs are puppy mill survivors, three of which I rescued myself.
70. My kid looks like Jabba the Hutt in his picture with the Easter Bunny.
71. I hate everything involving Nicholas Sparks. Whenever I have a student write about him, I have to resist the urge to fail them based purely upon principle.
72. I could play around on eBay all day. Seriously. All. Day.
73. I always heard that you don't meet the people who will become your true best friends until after adulthood. I have met many good friends along the way, but I am still best, best friends with the women who were my best, best friends in high school.
74. I go through about 30 lint rollers a year. Having dogs has not made it easier for me to deal with having hair on my clothing. It drives me nuts.
75. It annoys me that my husband thinks the only real way to have dress clothes cleaned is to have them dry cleaned.
76. He grew up much more privileged than I did.
77. He was also the star football player, homecoming king type, and I was the chubby over-achiever. Had we gone to the same school, he probably would have made fun of me.
78. Except for I went to a small school, so I was popular by default.
79. One of my best friends is Muslim.
80. We first bonded over a mutual love for Hanson when we were 15.
81. In fact, all of my best friends were made through a mutual love for certain bands/music.
82. I met another best friend at an *NSYNC concert.
83. I have at least a dozen more friends I met through Good Charlotte and New Found Glory concerts.
83. I'm not ashamed to admit my love of boy bands to anyone.
84. It all started when I was 8 with Joey McIntyre from NKOTB.
85. I seriously thought we were getting married.
86. It annoys me when people are music snobs. I think lots of people claim to like music they really don't in order to seem cool. That's just as bad as paying money to go on a Backstreet Boys cruise.
87. While I was pregnant, I could never get into those shows like Bringing Home Baby on TLC, but I wanted to watch something that gave me a frame of reference. So I started watching Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant on MTV. And now, I am addicted. I even follow three of the teen moms from Teen Mom 2 on Twitter.
88.There are few things in life I enjoy more than eating.
89. I knew my husband was my soul mate when after we started living together he'd call me at 7 a.m. on his way to work and say, "What are we having for dinner, babe?"
90. An uncle once said to me, "Don't you think you'd be happier if you lost some weight?" That question stays with me, always.
91. One of my dogs is literally retarded. People laugh when I say this, but it's true. She also has deformed front legs, and has a front end cart (fancy dog lingo for "wheelchair") to get around. If she was a human, she'd get all kinds of money from the government.
92. I loved Dennis Quaid in Jaws 3.
93. I am obsessed with all things zombie. Sometimes I daydream about ways to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.
94. I have a zombie escape plan.
95. It involves coating my skin in a bite-proof rubber.
96. I dread the day my kid is old enough to pick out his own clothes because I enjoy dressing him so much.
97. Whenever I read a book, the house the main characters live in is always a house that I've lived in previously, usually a childhood home.
98. I love ranch dressing.
99. From across the room I just heard my husband say, "Oh, fuck my balls." into his headset. I think he's talking to Kobe Bryant.
100. This list has taken me three days to finish. I'm so glad to be done. I'll never do this again.
1. I actually stole this idea from a blogger I follow on Twitter (@CecilyK). Her list is already better than mine, and I'm just on #1.
2. I troll the internet for interesting blogs, follow them, and then forget to read them.
3. By the end of next week, I'll have just over 75 composition I & II essays to grade.
4. I waste my office hours doing things like this list, and then whine about how I don't have enough time to grade.
5. I am a very messy person, but it bothers me when people (like my husband) say I'm filthy or disgusting. My car is messy, my house is messy, but I am clean. So are my dogs, my kid, and just about everything that really needs to be. I see no point in keeping my life immaculate.
6. I feel guilty any time I spend more than $20 on myself now that I'm a mom.
7. I have 4 dogs, and if I had my way, I'd probably have about 10 more.
8. If I cannot sleep next to my dogs, well, I don't sleep at all.
9. I hate to cuddle. Even with my husband. I have always been this way. Do not try to change me.
10. I bit my nails until I was in my 20's.
11. I drink almost nothing but diet soda. I dislike water to the 10th degree.
12. When I was pregnant, drinking water was the only thing that made me want to throw up. So I didn't drink water, and guess what? My kid came out healthy and happy as a clam. Suck it, Pregnancy Rule Book.
13. I used to worry that after I had my son that people would define me by him. Now, I worry that they won't.
14. I do not believe in sleep training or letting my baby cry until he falls asleep. If my kid cries--I pick him up. Even if it's at 3 a.m.
15. I believe in the Family Bed (I think the trendy term is "co-sleeping").
16. I believe every child is different, and it's stupid to always "do what the book says".
17. I use tons of post-it notes, but I hardly ever read what I've written on them.
18. When I was 25 I was in a terrible car accident. The head trauma caused my short-term memory to be all screwy--and I use this as an excuse as much as possible for the reason as to why I forget whatever I have not written down on the back of my hand.
19. Since people very rarely comment on my blog, I worry no one reads it.
20. I can count 9 empty cans of soda in my office. I bet the janitor LOVES me.
21. I have been out of printer paper for over a month. I have been stealing it from my office mate. She can't understand where all her paper keeps going, and I don't have the heart to tell her I'm a thief.
22. I think it's funny when people tell me they like my clothes, and when I say I bought them at Wal-Mart, they say, "Really? I've never seen that there."
23. I gained 60 lbs while I was pregnant.
24. I feel like a failure because after 4 months, I've lost only 30 lbs.
25. I have a week and a half to lose the aforementioned 30 lbs in order to fit into a bridesmaid's dress for my bff's wedding.
26. It ain't gonna happen.
27. Had to order a totally different dress
28. Sometimes I think that social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter are just a way for stupid people to spell words incorrectly.
29. I often wonder why I have been blessed with such an amazing network of family and friends when I. DO. Not. Deserve. Them. Seriously, I wonder about this all the time, and am constantly afraid that something terrible is going to happen, because if it does--it'll be just what I deserve.
30. In addition, I don't understand why God allowed me to get pregnant so easily, or why he gave me a perfect and healthy baby when there are women out there who try and try and can never have children. It isn't fair, I know it, and I say a silent "thank-you" about 50 times a day.
31. I'm a liberal.
32. That doesn't make me a communist.
33. Or a Marxist.
34. Or even a socialist.
35. I believe in marriage equality for all.
36. I believe healthcare is a right.
37. I'm pro-choice, which is not the same as pro-abortion.
38. I listen to conservative talk radio every day just to hear what what is being said.
39. I could and would argue with a fence post.
40. I think driving a gas guzzling car is pretty damn dumb, but I am not in favor of the government mandating what kind of car I am allowed to drive.
41. I drive a Scion.
42. But I wish I had a 1999 Volvo station wagon. That's the last year they made that "boxy" style that I like.
43. I like my dogs better than most people.
44. The main thing my husband and I argue about is the dogs.
45. He is pretty sure he married the Crazy Dog Lady.
46. My husband and I met on Match.com.
47. If he had wanted to avoid marrying the Crazy Dog Lady, he should have been more thorough in reading my profile.
48. If I had the money, I'd spend all my time volunteering with animal rescues.
49. Or I'd start my own.
50. I've written a children's book entitled, A Dog Named Helen Keller. It's about my blind and deaf French Bulldog. It's a true story of how she was rescued.
51. Nobody wants to publish my book.
52. I've been blogging since 2002, and have always fantasized about someone "important" stumbling across my blog and contracting me to write a memior of my fascinating life.
53. That has yet to happen.
54. But I will never give up hope.
55. I have a B.A. in English.
56. And an M.A. in Creative Writing.
57. Thank God for community college jobs.
58. Otherwise I'd be working at Wal-Mart.
59. I eat at Subway almost every day during the week.
60. And then I bitch at my husband for spending money on fast food.
61. I buy covers for my iPhone like they're going out of style.
62. There is a cake pan sitting in my office that has been here since last August.
63. It amazes me that some students think it is okay to write essays with the same grammar they would use to text a buddy--"wat is ur moms #? i think shes hot. l8er."
64. I think the belief that childhood immunizations cause autism is a crock of shit.
65. I overdrew my bank account every month until online banking came along.
66. Now, I check my balance psychotically.
67. I make snowman 8's.
68. I don't feel as strongly about any political issue as I do animal welfare, particularly when it comes to puppy mills in the state of Missouri.
69. Three of my four bulldogs are rescues, and two of them are puppy mill survivors. In addition, all four of my parents' bulldogs are puppy mill survivors, three of which I rescued myself.
70. My kid looks like Jabba the Hutt in his picture with the Easter Bunny.
71. I hate everything involving Nicholas Sparks. Whenever I have a student write about him, I have to resist the urge to fail them based purely upon principle.
72. I could play around on eBay all day. Seriously. All. Day.
73. I always heard that you don't meet the people who will become your true best friends until after adulthood. I have met many good friends along the way, but I am still best, best friends with the women who were my best, best friends in high school.
74. I go through about 30 lint rollers a year. Having dogs has not made it easier for me to deal with having hair on my clothing. It drives me nuts.
75. It annoys me that my husband thinks the only real way to have dress clothes cleaned is to have them dry cleaned.
76. He grew up much more privileged than I did.
77. He was also the star football player, homecoming king type, and I was the chubby over-achiever. Had we gone to the same school, he probably would have made fun of me.
78. Except for I went to a small school, so I was popular by default.
79. One of my best friends is Muslim.
80. We first bonded over a mutual love for Hanson when we were 15.
81. In fact, all of my best friends were made through a mutual love for certain bands/music.
82. I met another best friend at an *NSYNC concert.
83. I have at least a dozen more friends I met through Good Charlotte and New Found Glory concerts.
83. I'm not ashamed to admit my love of boy bands to anyone.
84. It all started when I was 8 with Joey McIntyre from NKOTB.
85. I seriously thought we were getting married.
86. It annoys me when people are music snobs. I think lots of people claim to like music they really don't in order to seem cool. That's just as bad as paying money to go on a Backstreet Boys cruise.
87. While I was pregnant, I could never get into those shows like Bringing Home Baby on TLC, but I wanted to watch something that gave me a frame of reference. So I started watching Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant on MTV. And now, I am addicted. I even follow three of the teen moms from Teen Mom 2 on Twitter.
88.There are few things in life I enjoy more than eating.
89. I knew my husband was my soul mate when after we started living together he'd call me at 7 a.m. on his way to work and say, "What are we having for dinner, babe?"
90. An uncle once said to me, "Don't you think you'd be happier if you lost some weight?" That question stays with me, always.
91. One of my dogs is literally retarded. People laugh when I say this, but it's true. She also has deformed front legs, and has a front end cart (fancy dog lingo for "wheelchair") to get around. If she was a human, she'd get all kinds of money from the government.
92. I loved Dennis Quaid in Jaws 3.
93. I am obsessed with all things zombie. Sometimes I daydream about ways to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.
94. I have a zombie escape plan.
95. It involves coating my skin in a bite-proof rubber.
96. I dread the day my kid is old enough to pick out his own clothes because I enjoy dressing him so much.
97. Whenever I read a book, the house the main characters live in is always a house that I've lived in previously, usually a childhood home.
98. I love ranch dressing.
99. From across the room I just heard my husband say, "Oh, fuck my balls." into his headset. I think he's talking to Kobe Bryant.
100. This list has taken me three days to finish. I'm so glad to be done. I'll never do this again.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Eat, eat, eat all day long (yeah, yeah). Eat, eat, eat while I sing this song...
It's no secret that when I was 17, I loved Justin Timberlake. My best friends-Brittany, Nikki, Sarah and I would spend just about every weekend at Sarah's house watching *NSync and Backstreet Boys videos, interviews, etc in Sarah's spare bedroom, which we'd dubbed the "Teeny Bopping" room. I know it sounds ridiculous, especially since we were probably supposed to be drinking and cruising around town on the weekends like "normal" teenagers, but looking back, I guess we weren't normal teenagers. We all knew that we were total dorks, and most of the time we were just greatful we weren't alone in our enternal dorky-ness. I can say without a doubt that I would not have survived my teen years without these three women. Could. Not. Have. Done. It.
The four of us had something like a secret language, with all the boy band quotes and inside jokes we shared. We still use this language today. I don't remember which MTV interview we were watching, but I remember that the cameras were following Justin around his hotel room, and as he awoke one morning, he said groggily, "Oh, another day." It's obviously not anything profound, or particularly interesting, but I say this to myself some mornings when I'm having trouble waking up, or realize on my way to work that I have more to do that day than I can accomplish.
I said this to myself today.
The only people in the world who would "get it" are those three friends, and I keep our memories close to my heart. It makes the day a little easier to get through. :-)
I think, for the most part, that everything is on the upswing. I'm hoping the stressful days of winter are behind me. Everything seems to be working out for my husband regarding his family issues, and he has a job interview this afternoon. I'm praying, and crossing every finger and toe that I have that he gets the job. It would be nice to be a two income household again. And I think it will be good for my husband to go back to work--he hated his last job, and his boss made him feel worthless. The job he is interviewing for today would be something he might actually enjoy. I really hope he gets the offer.
As many of you know, I've been looking for a house to buy for almost a year. Even though money is tight, we've not given up the dream of owning our own home. Of course, right now, our budget is pretty small, which makes looking kind of un-fun. So far, I've not found anything within our budget that is worth making an offer. But...I am SO TIRED of renting. I'm tired of paying deposits that I'll more than likely never get back, I'm tired of worrying all the time that one little imperfection in the house could cause a lawsuit, and more than anything--I'm tired of writing a check every month (the largest bill I have) for a home that will never be mine. I did the math, and the results were scary. I've been a renter since 2002, and in those 9 years I've paid out over $53,000 in rent. This does not include security deposits, pet deposits, etc. Never once have I been late on my rent, and I even deducted the two times in my life I've had to ask my parents for help. If I had that money to add to our house budget, I could buy almost any home I wanted. I should add--this doesn't include rent that my husband has paid in his 15 years of being a renter.
It's frustrating and disheartening.
With all of this in mind, I've been seeking out alternative options to buying. I've checked out leasing with an option to buy, owner-financing, etc. With the house market the way it is, and people desperate to sell, sometimes you can get more of a house if you come up with a creative alternative. I'm working on one of these creative alternatives right now, and I am interested to see how it works out. I might have found the solution to all my housing woes.
I'll keep you posted.
The four of us had something like a secret language, with all the boy band quotes and inside jokes we shared. We still use this language today. I don't remember which MTV interview we were watching, but I remember that the cameras were following Justin around his hotel room, and as he awoke one morning, he said groggily, "Oh, another day." It's obviously not anything profound, or particularly interesting, but I say this to myself some mornings when I'm having trouble waking up, or realize on my way to work that I have more to do that day than I can accomplish.
I said this to myself today.
The only people in the world who would "get it" are those three friends, and I keep our memories close to my heart. It makes the day a little easier to get through. :-)
I think, for the most part, that everything is on the upswing. I'm hoping the stressful days of winter are behind me. Everything seems to be working out for my husband regarding his family issues, and he has a job interview this afternoon. I'm praying, and crossing every finger and toe that I have that he gets the job. It would be nice to be a two income household again. And I think it will be good for my husband to go back to work--he hated his last job, and his boss made him feel worthless. The job he is interviewing for today would be something he might actually enjoy. I really hope he gets the offer.
As many of you know, I've been looking for a house to buy for almost a year. Even though money is tight, we've not given up the dream of owning our own home. Of course, right now, our budget is pretty small, which makes looking kind of un-fun. So far, I've not found anything within our budget that is worth making an offer. But...I am SO TIRED of renting. I'm tired of paying deposits that I'll more than likely never get back, I'm tired of worrying all the time that one little imperfection in the house could cause a lawsuit, and more than anything--I'm tired of writing a check every month (the largest bill I have) for a home that will never be mine. I did the math, and the results were scary. I've been a renter since 2002, and in those 9 years I've paid out over $53,000 in rent. This does not include security deposits, pet deposits, etc. Never once have I been late on my rent, and I even deducted the two times in my life I've had to ask my parents for help. If I had that money to add to our house budget, I could buy almost any home I wanted. I should add--this doesn't include rent that my husband has paid in his 15 years of being a renter.
It's frustrating and disheartening.
With all of this in mind, I've been seeking out alternative options to buying. I've checked out leasing with an option to buy, owner-financing, etc. With the house market the way it is, and people desperate to sell, sometimes you can get more of a house if you come up with a creative alternative. I'm working on one of these creative alternatives right now, and I am interested to see how it works out. I might have found the solution to all my housing woes.
I'll keep you posted.
And now, I have to go teach Composition II. I'll leave you with a snippit of my life story.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Every glamorous sunrise, throws the planets out of line.
A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac.
You know those days when you feel like you just suck at everything? Yeah, I'm having one of those today. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was at home for a week and got nothing done pertaining to work. So when I came back on Monday, I felt completely overwhelmed. I'm still feeling that way a little bit, although I've gotten quite a bit accomplished over the last 3 days.
We had a meeting at work yesterday--kind of a "new faculty pow-wow" to discuss the things we're doing well as teachers and the things that need to be improved upon. There were other things discussed as well, and we were all assured we were doing a great job. We were also officially told that we'd been invited back for another year, which most of us already knew since we'd decided upon fall classes almost a month ago. I really feel like this is a place where I can spend most of my teaching years. That's why it's really important to me to do a good job in all aspects of my work. But I know that there are places where I've fallen short, especially when it comes to being "involved" on campus. I often forget that there are events going on, get stuck grading during an assembly (we call them "listen at lunch") or am in such a rush to get home to Jude that I slough off any activity that goes past my last class of the day. I wish I could blame it all on those three reasons entirely, but the truth is that I'm just not much of a joiner. I got all of that out of my system in high school, and I'm not particularly interested in spending my free time hanging out on campus. I wasn't very good at showing up for events when I was full-time at the U of A, and it came as a welcomed relief when I was adjunct in St.Louis, because adjunct faculty members don't have to do anything but show up and teach classes (and draw a paycheck).
Like I said, I really want to excel as a teacher at this school. So I'm really going to make an extra effort to attend functions and be seen. I know it looks bad when I show up only to the "mandatory" events. Even though it doesn't say so in my contract, part of my job is to be involved with campus activities. I have to start telling myself that if I don't want to do my job, then I have no business even expecting to get paid. I wish I was more like my mom. She's been a teacher for almost 30 years, and she's always up at her school doing something--tutoring, going to basketball games, working late on IEPs...it never ends. People don't realize this, but teaching is unlike any other job on the planet because your work never ends. You take it home with you at night, it rides with you in the car in the mornings, and it follows you into every holiday. There is no relief from teaching, contrary to the whole, "teachers get the summer off" philosophy. I don't know a single teacher who just kicks back during the summertime. Most of us are working second jobs, teaching summer school, attending professional development seminars, or are at school working on stuff we didn't have time to finish during the school year.
Wait...why did I decide to become a teacher???
I got a little off track with that last paragraph. I have a tendency to do that when I'm ranting. Anyway, while I was not singled out as being Miss M.I.A., I was told that there has been a complaint in one of my classes that I'm not getting stuff handed back in a timely fashion. As much as I hate to admit it--this complaint is probably well-founded. I have had one assignment for a good 3 weeks, and another one for at least 2 (both of which I gave back today). Two weeks isn't that bad, but it's not great, either, especially when the students really need the feedback in order to complete the next assignments. However, I want to defend myself, here. Even though I physically had the assignment for 3 weeks, the grades were posted in Blackboard the Friday before spring break. I even brought the assignment to class with me that Friday, but out of a class of 26, only 5 students showed up. The other assignment was an essay assignment, and was due March 11. I handed it back today. That means I had the assignment for a total of 2.5 weeks, and 1 of those weeks was spring break. I also have 5 classes worth of essays to grade, which amounts to about 100 essays, give or take.
That's a lot of grading, kids!
I'm really ready for this semester to be over, even though I honestly love my classes. All four of my classes this summer are online, which means I'll get to spend more time with Jude. It also means that even though I will technically be working, I'll be much closer to the ever elusive "summer off" than I have been in a long time. Bring on the sunshine!
You know those days when you feel like you just suck at everything? Yeah, I'm having one of those today. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was at home for a week and got nothing done pertaining to work. So when I came back on Monday, I felt completely overwhelmed. I'm still feeling that way a little bit, although I've gotten quite a bit accomplished over the last 3 days.
We had a meeting at work yesterday--kind of a "new faculty pow-wow" to discuss the things we're doing well as teachers and the things that need to be improved upon. There were other things discussed as well, and we were all assured we were doing a great job. We were also officially told that we'd been invited back for another year, which most of us already knew since we'd decided upon fall classes almost a month ago. I really feel like this is a place where I can spend most of my teaching years. That's why it's really important to me to do a good job in all aspects of my work. But I know that there are places where I've fallen short, especially when it comes to being "involved" on campus. I often forget that there are events going on, get stuck grading during an assembly (we call them "listen at lunch") or am in such a rush to get home to Jude that I slough off any activity that goes past my last class of the day. I wish I could blame it all on those three reasons entirely, but the truth is that I'm just not much of a joiner. I got all of that out of my system in high school, and I'm not particularly interested in spending my free time hanging out on campus. I wasn't very good at showing up for events when I was full-time at the U of A, and it came as a welcomed relief when I was adjunct in St.Louis, because adjunct faculty members don't have to do anything but show up and teach classes (and draw a paycheck).
Like I said, I really want to excel as a teacher at this school. So I'm really going to make an extra effort to attend functions and be seen. I know it looks bad when I show up only to the "mandatory" events. Even though it doesn't say so in my contract, part of my job is to be involved with campus activities. I have to start telling myself that if I don't want to do my job, then I have no business even expecting to get paid. I wish I was more like my mom. She's been a teacher for almost 30 years, and she's always up at her school doing something--tutoring, going to basketball games, working late on IEPs...it never ends. People don't realize this, but teaching is unlike any other job on the planet because your work never ends. You take it home with you at night, it rides with you in the car in the mornings, and it follows you into every holiday. There is no relief from teaching, contrary to the whole, "teachers get the summer off" philosophy. I don't know a single teacher who just kicks back during the summertime. Most of us are working second jobs, teaching summer school, attending professional development seminars, or are at school working on stuff we didn't have time to finish during the school year.
Wait...why did I decide to become a teacher???
I got a little off track with that last paragraph. I have a tendency to do that when I'm ranting. Anyway, while I was not singled out as being Miss M.I.A., I was told that there has been a complaint in one of my classes that I'm not getting stuff handed back in a timely fashion. As much as I hate to admit it--this complaint is probably well-founded. I have had one assignment for a good 3 weeks, and another one for at least 2 (both of which I gave back today). Two weeks isn't that bad, but it's not great, either, especially when the students really need the feedback in order to complete the next assignments. However, I want to defend myself, here. Even though I physically had the assignment for 3 weeks, the grades were posted in Blackboard the Friday before spring break. I even brought the assignment to class with me that Friday, but out of a class of 26, only 5 students showed up. The other assignment was an essay assignment, and was due March 11. I handed it back today. That means I had the assignment for a total of 2.5 weeks, and 1 of those weeks was spring break. I also have 5 classes worth of essays to grade, which amounts to about 100 essays, give or take.
That's a lot of grading, kids!
I'm really ready for this semester to be over, even though I honestly love my classes. All four of my classes this summer are online, which means I'll get to spend more time with Jude. It also means that even though I will technically be working, I'll be much closer to the ever elusive "summer off" than I have been in a long time. Bring on the sunshine!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Though I know who I'm not, I still don't know who I am...
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim...
Alanis Morissette's album, Under Rug Swept came out in the spring of 2002, and it spoke to my soul. There are days when it still speaks to my soul.
Aaaaand it's back to work after a week of spring break. I can't say I'm thrilled to be back, but I'm most assuredly ready to hurry up and get this semester over. Spending the week at home reminded me of just how much I'm missing while I'm at work in regards to Jude. I was sad to leave him this morning. At least I'll have this summer to spend with him, and I'm sure I'll be good and ready to go back to work in August.
I spent most of last week on a blanket on the floor, playing. Jude can now roll over from back to front and front to back. He started doing it right after he turned 2 months, but it was on accident, and it always surprised him. Now he can do it deliberately, and it's so fun to watch. He's starting to giggle, which is probably my favorite sound in the whole world.
This week brings a plethora of birthdays in my family--my brother's fiance's was yesterday, my brother's is Wednesday, and my husband's is Friday. We're having a big family party this weekend, and I'm still two presents short. I hope I have time to find presents before then, or I'll be in trouble. My brother does not do well when presented with an IOU.
Right now, it seems like I'm spending all my time waiting. I'm waiting for the semester to be over, I'm waiting to get paid, I'm waiting for Jude to achieve his next milestone....mainly, it feels like I'm waiting on money. I'm waiting for the rest of my teaching contract to pay out, and I'm waiting on my summer teaching money. We're also waiting on the insurance settlement from my husband's father's death, which seems like a terrible thing to be waiting on. It feels wrong to be excited about it, even though it means we can pay off my car. In addition, there is all this controversy surrounding the whole situation, a situation I'm totally sick of hearing about and dealing with. I hate how this type of thing can turn family members against each other. It's disheartening to see people who should be comforting each other, fighting about menial issues.
While I agree that it's nice to have money (I mean, nobody enjoys being poor), maybe the reason I'm so irritated by the whole situation is because I've never really had any money to speak of. Maybe I'd understand it if I had any money to lose, or if money mattered more to me. Don't get me wrong, I like having nice things, and I like being able to pay the bills, but at the end of the day I don't lose sleep over how much money I do or do not have in the bank (unless the rent is due). I'm glad that I married someone who is about as concerned with it as I am.
More than anything, I wish my husband wasn't having to deal with all of this. He is completely worn out, and has been taking shit from people who ought to be supporting him. There is not enough venom in me to properly spell out for you the things I would like to say to these people. In fact, I've probably made it worse on my husband, because he's had to ask me to retract my fangs a few times. But he's done nothing but try to keep everybody happy, and make sure no one is left out. Once it is all said and done, much of it is unfair, but that's nothing he has control over, and nothing he can change.
It's been easier for him to let all of this go than it has been for me. I hold grudges. I'm well aware that this is a fault rather than an attribute, but it's the truth about me. I'm much more likely to hold a grudge if you treat someone I love badly than if you treat me badly. I have no idea how this trait of mine is going to play out once it becomes time for me to start defending Jude. Hopefully, there won't be any jail time involved.
Alanis Morissette's album, Under Rug Swept came out in the spring of 2002, and it spoke to my soul. There are days when it still speaks to my soul.
Aaaaand it's back to work after a week of spring break. I can't say I'm thrilled to be back, but I'm most assuredly ready to hurry up and get this semester over. Spending the week at home reminded me of just how much I'm missing while I'm at work in regards to Jude. I was sad to leave him this morning. At least I'll have this summer to spend with him, and I'm sure I'll be good and ready to go back to work in August.
I spent most of last week on a blanket on the floor, playing. Jude can now roll over from back to front and front to back. He started doing it right after he turned 2 months, but it was on accident, and it always surprised him. Now he can do it deliberately, and it's so fun to watch. He's starting to giggle, which is probably my favorite sound in the whole world.
This week brings a plethora of birthdays in my family--my brother's fiance's was yesterday, my brother's is Wednesday, and my husband's is Friday. We're having a big family party this weekend, and I'm still two presents short. I hope I have time to find presents before then, or I'll be in trouble. My brother does not do well when presented with an IOU.
Right now, it seems like I'm spending all my time waiting. I'm waiting for the semester to be over, I'm waiting to get paid, I'm waiting for Jude to achieve his next milestone....mainly, it feels like I'm waiting on money. I'm waiting for the rest of my teaching contract to pay out, and I'm waiting on my summer teaching money. We're also waiting on the insurance settlement from my husband's father's death, which seems like a terrible thing to be waiting on. It feels wrong to be excited about it, even though it means we can pay off my car. In addition, there is all this controversy surrounding the whole situation, a situation I'm totally sick of hearing about and dealing with. I hate how this type of thing can turn family members against each other. It's disheartening to see people who should be comforting each other, fighting about menial issues.
While I agree that it's nice to have money (I mean, nobody enjoys being poor), maybe the reason I'm so irritated by the whole situation is because I've never really had any money to speak of. Maybe I'd understand it if I had any money to lose, or if money mattered more to me. Don't get me wrong, I like having nice things, and I like being able to pay the bills, but at the end of the day I don't lose sleep over how much money I do or do not have in the bank (unless the rent is due). I'm glad that I married someone who is about as concerned with it as I am.
More than anything, I wish my husband wasn't having to deal with all of this. He is completely worn out, and has been taking shit from people who ought to be supporting him. There is not enough venom in me to properly spell out for you the things I would like to say to these people. In fact, I've probably made it worse on my husband, because he's had to ask me to retract my fangs a few times. But he's done nothing but try to keep everybody happy, and make sure no one is left out. Once it is all said and done, much of it is unfair, but that's nothing he has control over, and nothing he can change.
It's been easier for him to let all of this go than it has been for me. I hold grudges. I'm well aware that this is a fault rather than an attribute, but it's the truth about me. I'm much more likely to hold a grudge if you treat someone I love badly than if you treat me badly. I have no idea how this trait of mine is going to play out once it becomes time for me to start defending Jude. Hopefully, there won't be any jail time involved.
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